Heading off on an adventure

Tomorrow morning, I depart for college.  I have what feels to be too much stuff, but looks like not nearly enough, packed into the back of my father’s truck - clothes and books top the list, accompanied by a lamp, a fridge, my laptop, and assorted toiletries.  I tried to aim for the minimal this go-around; I suppose the intelligence of this decision will reveal itself by week three.

I am moving in early in order to attend a “kick-off” session, to join a group of 150 freshman in a variety of yet-to-be-revealed activities that may or may not boost our sense of school spirit, community, and general ‘togetherness.’  Little information is available about the session, and I’ve heard contrasting opinions: a few friends have predicted it will be cheesy, an alum has told me it was one of the best times of his life.  Maybe I’m in for an incredible experience, maybe I’ll just find out that said alum has led a relatively uneventful life.  Right now, I have my fingers crossed for the former.

No matter the potential outcomes, I feel really good at the moment.  I realize that I’m in this - college, this particular school - for the long haul, and I’m genuinely excited about the experiences ahead of me.  I have spent the past year forcing myself to become aware of my weaknesses and my strengths, sources of pride and fear, factors in succeeding and failing.  I want to overcome - and foresee - challenges, stop making excuses, become a better person.  And right now, considering what I know about myself, diving headlong into a maybe-cheesy, maybe-life-altering event seems to be a smart move to make.

 

A brief visit to an old haunt

I spent a good part of Wednesday morning visiting with the teacher who really set me off on writing, who showed me how to develop my voice.

At the end of the class (she teaches AP English Language and Composition, an 11th grade course), she asked me to share some tips with the newest batch of students, to give them some suggestions as to how they could succeed and become better readers and writers.  I certainly have no objections to making thinly-veiled speeches about myself, impromptu or not, so I obliged.

“Read, read, and never stop reading,” was my first suggestion, followed by “write, write, and write some more.”  What I encouraged the most, however, was for the students to step outside of their comfort zone — to find books, articles, and blogs dealing with topics they knew nothing about and self-educate to their hearts’ content.  It’s easy, after all, to read a lot about topics one is truly passionate about, but to learn something completely new and out of the box can be far more rewarding.

The general response, less than enthusiastic, distressed me.  The students, bright enough to sign up for a GPA-boosting class that looks good on transcripts, have of course been told to read since they were in Kindergarden… and if anything, were hoping for some secret which guaranteed them an ‘A’ and automatic admission to college.  The most realistic ones already know no such secret exists, and most have elected to withdraw into a bitter shell of cynicism.  And I can relate — that’s what helped me survive high school.

I joke about my ego, but my delusions of grandeur are not so great that I was offended by the nonchalance of the students.  And one girl, in fact, did approach me and ask me for book suggestions - a much appreciated gesture, though I hope she will eventually follow my advice of tailoring reading to one’s personal interests and experiences.

No, what bothered me the most was the reaction of so many students when I mentioned what college I will be attending in the fall.  They perked up, much more interested in my GPA, SAT scores, scholarship offerings… so-called “measurable” indications of success, than the passion for learning which got me through - and out of - high school.

 

Pulling it all together

The first day of classes draws near, and never before have I ever been so ready to head off to school.

I love to learn. As much as I dislike patronizing “fluff” classes and the mindless drivel which passes as one’s secondary education, I revel in being exposed to new ideas. Discovering like-minded individuals with whom I share coping strategies. Being asked serious questions, or simply being reminded of some basic facts of life.

Today, however, was a special moment for me. I have been fighting what, at times, has felt to be an uphill battle, volunteering with a youth leadership development program designed to redirect local teenagers from joining gangs. My time with the project has been limited, and despite the stated goals and objects perfectly in line with my passion for youth oriented civic-engagement opportunities, I struggled to find where I could best apply my skills.

After refusing to take ‘no’ for an answer, bringing potentially valuable partners on board, and delivering everything asked of me, my persistence paid off. My superiors asked for a rough outline of a the curriculum, and I delivered.

Never before have I been able to rely on personal experience and benefited so much from my reading and intellectual curiosity… despite an ambitious assignment, the pieces seemed to fall into place. Trust building activities? I knew several from a diversity/ leadership course I took last year. Key civic issues? A stint on a past advisory board and personal research provided what I needed. A defense for my method of empowering the students? Varied personal experience, buttressed by rhetoric techniques impressed upon me by a former teacher. Support for where the youth will go and what they can accomplish? First uncovered in Gladwell’s The Tipping Point, and delineated by a leadership coaching firm.

I have yet to assemble a library I am truly proud of, or generated pages and pages of easily-referenced quotes and ideas by the world’s greatest thinkers… or even entered college. Today, however, was progress, a step towards my idealized future, where I’m not simply living and learning, but applying such knowledge, and truly benefiting others.

 

A different sort of ‘Tipping Point’

The [1893 Worlds' Fair] had a powerful and lasting impact on the nation’s psyche, in ways both large and small.  Walt Disney’s father, Elias, hleped build the White City; Walt’s Magic Kingdom may well be a descendant….  The writer L. Frank Baum and his artist-partner William Wallace Denslow visited the fair; its grandeur informed their creation of Oz.  The Japanese temple on the Wooded Island charmed Frank Lloyd Wright, and may have influenced the revolution of his “Prairie” residential designs.  The fair prompted President Harrison to designate October 12 a national holiday, Columbus Day….  Every carnival since 1893 has included a Midway and a Ferris Wheel, and every grocery store contains products born at the exposition.  Shredded Wheat did survive.  Every house has scores of incandescent bulbs powered by alternating curent, both of which proved themselves worthy of large-scale use at the fair; and nearly every town of any size has its little bit of ancient Rome, some beloved and be-columned bank, library, or post office.

- Erik Larson, Devil in the White City

Though Devil reads like imaginative fiction best-seller, it is in fact the history of the 1893 World’s Columbian Exposition, the story of Chicago’s becoming, and the biography of one of America’s most prolific serial killers.  Readers (like myself) will certainly be lured to the book through its promise of “Murder, Magic, and Mayhem at the fair that changed America,” but the intricate web of characters and patchwork of connections and coincidences which made the fair feasible keeps one hanging on until the very end.

The success Chicago’s World’s Fair is a testament to the power which stems from bringing millions of people together, and Larson’s history does the Exposition due justice.

 

Advancing to the next stage

With relatively few immediate implications, today happened to be my eighteenth birthday.

Aside from cake, presents, a nice meal with my parents, and many, many well-wishers on Facebook, life continued as it would on any other day - exactly as I desired.  An eighteenth birthday, nevertheless, seems to beg for a few moments of reflection; I welcome any words of wisdom or sage advice anyone cares to share.

I am, with very few exceptions, pleased with the direction my life is heading.  Pleased, but far from satisfied.

In the past, I have referred to high school as an endurance test — a burden, something one must survive in order to reach bigger and better things.  I’m realizing now, however, that all those years were merely training sessions, that all of the uphill climbs still lie in front of me.

I can’t wait.

There is so much ahead of me which I want and need to accomplish; the challenge is not in finding goals for the coming years, but rather in establishing a time frame and managing the feasibility of realizing these desires.

I want to learn how to write better.  Read so much more.  Take every interesting class available to me while in college.  Get involved in a research project, dedicate time to public service, pursue my passions.  Find a mentor, one who helps push me to my limits.  Travel, learn, experience, grow.

I struggle with concrete goals, with determining that I will accomplish Task X by Date Y, so that Plan Z is pulled off without a hitch.  In my experience though, living without allowing room for error, for spontaneity, for random, stupid events… that sort of lifestyle rarely lends itself to flawless victories.  And right now, I’m not seeking flawless.  I have time for flawlessness, for perfection, when I’m a touch older — but at this moment, I just want challenges, to make opportunities to prove myself.  And maybe I’m going about it all wrong, but I don’t expect to ever know unless I try.

Thanks for reading, thanks for the feedback, thanks for the support.

 

Motivation and Competition

I sat on this piece for a while after starting on it, knowing that I had material which I wanted to comment on, but not positive as to what I wanted to say.

Ryan Holiday’s latest piece on searching for a source of motivation set me off, and I thought it paired well with Robin Hanson’s brief analysis of “power politics” and pondering as to why there are so few corporate assassinations.  Proposing that “at the top of each walk of life we expect to find a disproportionate fraction not only of high ability folks, but also of high ambition and low qualm folks,” Hanson explains that the presumed prevalence of such traits are why we fear corruption and shady dealings in positions of power.  Nevertheless, he notes, “[w]e hear of assassination of leaders in crime or politics, at least far away, but less often in business.”

Why?

Some of the comments to Hanson’s post present very logical, very practical reasons, and I am sure that they are realistically more correct than my theory could ever hope.  What I consider to be a possible answer, however, is less concerned with external factors and more with the business leaders — would be killers and victims — themselves.

My response has certainly been influenced byThe Sociopath Next Door, as I try to imagine what Dr. Martha Stout might suggest.  Her book posits that for those with high intelligence and unrestrained by a conscience, success comes easy - and thus one can find a larger concentration of sociopaths in positions of authority and power than initially expected.  These sort of people thrive on abusing and making others miserable, toying with them rather than cleanly and quickly finishing off competition and rivals.  And even if her proposed rate of sociopaths (four percent of the population, 1 out of every 25 people) is not spot on, the book’s hypothesis certainly opens your eyes to the nature of human conscience.

To make it to the very top, to exist in that absolute upper echelon, is to have overcome challenges and struggled through countless battles.  And I simply cannot imagine, after such a climb and surviving for so long, utilizing such pathetic means as murder to eliminate competition.  What else, if not a rival or a foil, a constant, could ever give meaning to that lifestyle?

 

Some very impressive advice

Comedian Patton Oswalt recently gave a speech at his old high school, and he has since posted the transcript on his website.  It certainly starts out, as expected, with a flare for irreverence, but rapidly becomes a good deal more meaningful:

In reflecting on a lesson given to him by a scholarship benefactor, and his subsequent global travels, he shares this:

[E]xperience, and reward and glory are meaningless unless you’re open and present with the people you share them with in the moment.

His second point is a good deal more deterministic:

The path is made by walking.    And when you’re walking that path, you choose how things affect you.  You always have that freedom, no matter how much your liberty it curtailed.   You…get to choose…how things affect you….  There Is No Them.

As a recent high school graduate, I would have very much preferred to hear someone like him speak than our severely out-of-touch principal and near-reclusive valedictorian and salutatorian - and perhaps this explains some bias in my favor.  Commencement speeches can only have so many twists and turns about them, but I found Oswalt’s writing surprisingly fresh… and as an incredible fillip, he included a link to a transcription of another (lengthier) speech as credit for inspiring him.  And that was how Ifound David Foster Wallace’s 2005 Kenyon College commencement address.

Worship power, you will end up feeling weak and afraid, and you will need ever more power over others to numb you to your own fear. Worship your intellect, being seen as smart, you will end up feeling stupid, a fraud, always on the verge of being found out. But the insidious thing about these forms of worship is not that they’re evil or sinful, it’s that they’re unconscious. They are default settings.

Wallace’s influence on Oswalt is clear, but the reached me on different levels, triggered different feelings about the world around me and my feelings about the future:

The really important kind of freedom involves attention and awareness and discipline, and being able truly to care about other people and to sacrifice for them over and over in myriad petty, unsexy ways every day.

That is real freedom. That is being educated, and understanding how to think. The alternative is unconsciousness, the default setting, the rat race, the constant gnawing sense of having had, and lost, some infinite thing.

I encourage everyone to take some time and read through the transcripts.  There may not be many ideas left under the sun that are truly new and innovative, but there is nothing to be lost from meditating on and seeking inspiration from these concepts.

It’s cliché and lofty and idealistic, but in my moments of conviction, when I am so passionate and certain that I want to do something to leave the world a better place than the way I know it today, this is what I identify with.

(Hat tip to Kottke, and a big ‘thank-you’ to all of my readers)

 

Summer Lessons

More than school, more than books, simply living can teach a person so much; through the course of this summer, life has been my most reliable and influential teacher. My blog has gone untended, the lack of updates more a reflection of a very busy schedule than days whiled away doing nothing worthy of discussing. That time, however, has been spent on other ventures, all worthwhile in their unique ways.

The State Farm Youth Advisory Board meeting was one of the greatest experiences of my life, proving to me that sometimes just sitting in a room full of incredibly intelligent people and listening to the discussions can teach you almost everything you need to know. I confess that a challenge of mine is quickly establishing trusting relationships with others, but there is no other group that I would rather work until 1:30 in the morning with, refining every aspect of the documents and presentations due the next day. We worked a 40-hour workweek in less than three days, but I would turn around and do it again at the drop of a hat: passionate people, no matter how young, are always a force to be reckoned with.

And sometimes, even when it seems all for naught, good things come of hard work you put forth. My high school schedule finally paid off; I will be entering college with over a year’s worth of credit, immediately beginning to take the introductory courses to my prospective major and minor(s). I have always known the possibilities to be endless, but I am now beginning to see the potential to capitalize on the opportunities.

Even at work, I am experiencing a sense of accomplishment. My summer assignment, albeit petty in scope, was certainly herculean when assigned, but I am now days away from completion. For the first time in my life, I have been receiving a paycheck to produce tangible results, and my current level of self-satisfaction in this regard has been tremendous.

Above all else, however, I have been reminded how a few days taken for myself can be truly beneficial. This post was typed while listening to the waves crashing, my body beaten from an earlier surf session. No internet, only books – plenty intellectually stimulated by Robert Greene and Malcolm Gladwell.

I graduated from high school with my life and my priorities askew, and this summer has been a quest to restore balance. I’m not there yet, but I am getting closer, considering every step to be a victory.

 

On a personal note…

I leave tomorrow for my first State Farm Youth Advisory Board meeting, which promises to be an incredible experience.  I get to spend the next few days with some incredibly motivated, very interesting youth, all highly accomplished individuals at a very young age, and I cannot wait to meet all of them.

On the plane ride, I will be reading James Surowiecki’s ‘The Wisdom of Crowds,’ catching up on mainstream interest in crowd psychology/prediction markets only a year or so late.  While books are just falling off my bookshelf waiting to be read, I am still open to other suggestions upon finishing Surowiecki’s…. I have about fifty dollars in assorted gift certificates, and always appreciate direct recommendations.  I am aware of Ryan Holiday’s reading list, as well as Kevin Kelly’s ‘Books That Changed My Life‘ post (among others), but I am certainly not opposed to diversity in my life… even fiction can provide a nice breath of fresh air.

 

A Fast Approaching Conflict — Part 2

*This is a continuation of an earlier post*

I feel comfortable in assuming that everyone who visits my blog has, at some point in time, at least heard of Timothy Ferriss and ‘The 4-Hour Workweek.’

Reading about the man’s philosophy of ‘lifestyle design’ makes NOT getting excited about the prospects of streamlining one’s life and reducing outside stress very, very difficult. And indeed, Ferriss just happens to be one of the better known and more charismatic leaders of a rapidly-spreading counter current movement calling for less time spent at work and more time spent on ourselves.

The more one looks, the easier it becomes to find examples of people beginning to fight the system of the 40+ hour workweek with minimal vacations. CNN recently highlighted Edgar S. Cahn, referred to as a leader in “a national campaign that claims that speed kills. Its leaders say that Americans are so starved for time, our need for speed is destroying our health, families and communities.” And in response, a socially-concerned community-driven organization has emerged, known as TimeBanks USA.

Even on less dedicated fronts, many other blogs are joining in on the fight: in just the past two days, Get Rich Slowly analyzed bartering as a means of more efficient financial exchanges, and Newly Corporate shared “Tips For Getting The Most Out Of Your Vacation Time.”

At the moment, in and of itself, this still-budding philosophy is rather inconsequential. Followers of these blogs are predominantly young people still orienting themselves to the workforce, and they compose only a minority of all American workers. Nevertheless, they are fanning the flame, causing other to slowly adapt their thinking and become less hostile to actually taking time off in the interest of health and long-term productivity.

For now, however, this whole set of ideals sets in direct contrast to the “game” I described earlier, in which I should be dedicating every waking moment to some sort of resume-boosting activity, the game I will only play on my own terms.